By Charles L. Whitfield
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Extra resources for Co-dependence_ healing the human condition _ the new paradigm for helping professionals and people in recovery
Sample text
But with narcissists, who may at times be grandiose, compulsive or addicted, abusive and so on, others can never mirror them perfectly enough414. Narcissists usually abuse or mistreat others, often subtly, and display unhealthy narcissism (described later in this chapter). they may lash out at others in order to feel stronger and more in control. Abusers, like bullies, are insecure and alienated from their True Self. They try to control others physically or emotionally in order to feel in control themselves.
1. An enabler is a person who usually unconsciously (or sometimes consciously) facilitates the destructive behavior of a dysfunctional person or persons. This facilitating may include repeated attempts to rescue or fix the dysfunctional person138,630. Another guise of looking outside oneself for fulfillment, enabling is a common Page 46 behavior among actively co-dependent people, and it usually contributes to their detriment and that of the dysfunctional person. While some co-dependents and adult children may fit these roles neatly, others do not.
1). nonverballyabout others, and stores it in its unconscious (mostly) and its conscious mind (sometimes and to some degree). What it takes in are messages from major relationships. relations theorists. These representations are laden with feelings and tend to occur in "part-objects" (such as good parent, bad parent, aggressive child, shy child, and so on). The more self-destructive messages are deposited more often in the 7. false self (which has also been called the 1. Page 28 internal saboteur, anti-libidinal ego, negative ego, or the internalized or introjected, rejecting or otherwise mistreating parent).