They were very explicit, very exact and had to be followed to the letter. I’ll never know whether any of them really were beneficial – they may have been, either individually or cumulatively, and perhaps in small ways – but I do know for sure that they were very expensive. And ultimately, none of them worked. On the basis that the mind controls the body, we sought advice from psychiatrists who suggested that hypnosis may be of some assistance in the reprogramming of the mind. That created a small problem because a course of hypnotherapy is not recognised as being part of cancer treatment and so is not available through the health system.

But that was only a dog,’ I hear you say. But as this poor crushed beast’s life ebbed away, its gaze said to me, ‘Help me. ’ I could see that its hold on life would be brief. While my neighbour scurried away to call the local ranger, I decided to respond to its needs. I had some ether in a pump bottle that I had used to clean glass slides. I saturated a cloth with the solution and placed it over the dog’s mouth and nose. Once it lapsed into unconsciousness I placed a large plastic bag over its head and, removing as much air as possible, asphyxiated the dog and ended its suffering.

Of course, once we determined our relative tolerances, I abandoned its regular use. I had to remain lucid and in control at all times, but there were the odd occasions when I used it as my own escape. As for the benefits of exercise, Irene could be best described as a health and fitness nut.